Today, the An Abundance of Katherines blog tour stops at the livejournal of the brilliant Holly Black, who is somewhat famous for being a bestselling author and also famous for being in the acknowledgements of Katherines. This particular interview is notable because 1. it contains a lot of filthy language, and 2. it features some soul-searching on the topic of geekiness.

Now, for something entirely different. I have a sitemeter, which means that I have some sense of the search words that lead people here to sparksflyup. And I feel like, up to now, I have failed to address some of my readers' queries. So here are some real search strings that led here, and my responses to them:

Themes of Looking for Alaska cannot be found on the Internet. You should look inside the book for them.

Relocating rats is difficult. I personally favor relocating them from earth to heaven.

Stephanie Klein's definition of passion is, presumably, hilariously overwritten and massively self-absorbed.

Looking at green shit seems like a better way to pass the time than, say, trying to relocate rats.

How much lunchmeat do I have for 35 people? Wait, how much do you have, or how much do you need? Because the Internet cannot tell you how much you have. (You need 14.5 pounds.)

Putting you to sleep for a colonoscopy is highly, highly recommended.

Markus Zusak's married?! It's true. Sorry, ladies. (Incidentaly, no one has ever gotten here by searching for "John Green's married?!" Damn you, Markus.)

How tree frogs cry would be a great name for a band.

Do you still have your tonsils? Are you asking me or are you asking google? I can't speak for google's tonsils, but mine are still in my throat.

Sarah Urist married some writer. She certainly did. (By the way, Sarah's exboyfriends google her constantly. I know who you are, exboyfriends!)

Julie Strauss-Gabel is unquestionably the best editor in America. Karen Coeman is the best editor in Mexico.

David Foster Wallace and John Green don't appear in the same sentence often enough. (We do, however, share a Hollywood agent.)

What was medieval torture for women like? Pretty bad, I would guess.

Very sad German statistics tend to be more depressing than, say, very sad Icelandic statistics.