My mouth still hurts, so to improve my mood I'm going to indulge in my favorite hobby: Surveys. This one I received from the lovely Cecil Castellucci, author of "Boy Proof" and "Queen of Cool." Surprising fact: Cecil caught the bouquet at our wedding.

1. FIRST NAME? John, obviously. No one would pick John as a pseudonym.

2. ARE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I'm named after someone on my dad's side of the family, and I also have a great-uncle on my mom's side named John.

3. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY? It's been a while. Maybe two weeks ago, while watching "Intervention?" That show always makes me cry. And drink.

4. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It's pretty poor. In second grade, I got an "N" in handwriting, for Needs Improvement, and it could still use improvement. But that's why God invented computers.

5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Is turkey a lunch meat? Turkey.

6. KIDS? I don't have any at the moment, but I'm very interested in acquiring one.

7. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? That's a surprisingly good question, Survey. I'm not sure. I would probably find myself pretty exasperating (as an old professor of mine once put it, "What you find annoying about other people is what other people find annoying about you"), but I might like me anyway.

8. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I have this blog. But I don't really keep a journal, no. I know that a lot of writers do, but I've never been at all interested in it. I like writing for an audience; the idea of writing for myself does not intrigue me all that much, to be honest. I do have a lot of files in my computer that contain notes about my books, but all of that is done in the hope of eventually producing something that other people will want to read. I've tried to keep a journal a few times over the years, but I have always hoped that it would be read by somebody.

9. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? No. (Note the sarcasm.)

10. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Hold on, let me check. Yes.

11. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Of course not. Jesus. Who do you take me for? I don't even stand on balconies or walk across footbridges or climb ladders or cross the street without looking both ways. But this question reminds me of something that Eudora Welty once said: "A sheltered life can be daring as well. For all serious daring starts from within."

12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? I'm not huge on breakfast generally, but in a pinch I've been known to enjoy some Honey Nut Cheerios.

13. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, although I never thought about it before. Is this a symptom of laziness or something?

14. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Not particularly. But I surround myself with a lot of strong people. My wife, for instance, is a boxer, so you can't screw with us.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Mint chocolate chip.

16. SHOE SIZE? 11

17. RED OR PINK? Red, I guess.

18. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I wish I managed my time better, and worked harder. I also feel chronically undertalented.

19. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? I miss the idea of Alabama. Is that a person? I guess not. Okay. Maybe my brother. He lives far away, in Montana.

20. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU? I want everyone who reads this to also fill it out and post it on their blogs, so I can find out what they don't like about themselves, and then I will use whatever they don't like about themselves to exploit and humiliate them!

21. WHAT COLOR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING RIGHT NOW? I'm wearing green shorts and I'm barefoot.

22. Who is your favorite writer/book/movie? Writer: Mark Twain. Book: All the King's Men. Movie: Rushmore.

23, WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The ticking clock.

24. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Forest Green, I guess. I always wanted to have a kid named Forest.

25. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE SMELLS? I'm very fond of Sarah's perfume.

26. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE ON THE PHONE WITH? Daniel Biss, author of the appendix to "An Abundance of Katherines."

27. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO? Overall bone structure of the face. I'm very particular about faces, which was always a problem, but fortunately I've settled down with a top-notch face.

28. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Cecil? Of course I like Cecil. Who doesn't like Cecil? Communists and kitten killers, that's who.

29. FAVORITE DRINK? Champagne. Or gatorade.

30. FAVORITE SPORT? For watching, soccer. For playing, tennis.

31. HAIR COLOR? I guess it's pretty brown. The other day my friend David Rojas saw that I had a gray hair and pulled it out for me. That was a little depressing.

32. EYE COLOR? Greenish brown. They look like the bottom of trash bins.

33. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Glasses.

34. FAVORITE FOOD? Sushi.

35. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDING? I hate scary movies. I hate everything about them.

36. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Talladega Nights (recommended, although if you are a NASCAR fan, you have to forget everything you know about the sport to enjoy it)

37. COLOR OF SHIRT YOU ARE WEARING? Red.

38. WINTER OR SUMMER? I'm going to go out on a limb here and say winter, as long as it's not too cold.

39. HUGS OR KISSES? Um, both?

40. FAVORITE DESSERT? Brownies.

41. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? This is not relelvant, as I don't know who will read it.

42. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Cecil said me, but look!

43. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Still "Pound for Pound," because I'm still groggy from surgery, so I'm slow to get thrugh it.

44. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? It's not my mouse pad, because we're not living in our own apartment this summer. But it's an HP mouse pad.

45. FAVORITE SOUNDS? I'm pretty fond of Sarah's voice.

46. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Project Runway

47. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles

48. THE FURTHEST YOU'VE BEEN FROM HOME? Italy, I think. Either Italy or Alaska. I'd have to measure.

49. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? No. Except maybe imagining special talents.

50. WHEN AND WHERE WERE YOU BORN? August 24, 1977 -- and I'm not telling where, because if I do you will steal my identity.