I got married two months ago today, and to celebrate the fact that my marriage has now officially lasted longer than the union of Ethel Merman and Ernest Borgnine (32 days), I thought I would try to re-create our wedding photographically.

Now generally--and I know this from experience--when people show you wedding pictures, they show you 11,426 pictures. It's not so much a photo album that these people share with you; it's a four-hour long stop-action animation. Now believe me, we have 11,426 wedding pictures. But I'm going to try to tell the story of our entire wedding in two photographs.

First, we posed for about eleven hours:



[n.b.: I probably don't have to point this out assuming you have eyes and aren't an idiot, but Sarah is clearly the most beautiful bride in human history.]

And then I put to rest any lingering doubts my lovely bride might have had by proving myself to be an erudite, sophisticated, and mature young man: