The Interview (with Myself)
I'm going to go ahead and go with a self-interview format now, because I've written a lot in the last two weeks, and I'm a bit burnt out.
Q. Hey, John. How are you?
A. I'm good. Sometimes I get really tired, but then I think about my poor little brother, Hank, who has spent three days shuffling from airport to airport in a quixotic quest across the Western United States. Poor Hank just wants to go back to his adopted hometown of Missoula, Montana, but apparently there is too much fog in Missoula, or the fog is too icy, or something.
Q. But couldn't the whole problem have been avoided if Hank had moved to a city like Chicago, where the airports are world-rennowned for their efficiency and ease-of-use?
A. Well, yes. But Hank is an environmentalist, see. And Chicago doesn't have any environment.
Q. Okay, what's the deal with that ridiculous Fischer-Price-My-First-Beard you've got going?
A. Well, I grew it out for superstitious reasons while I was working on the revision, the way hockey players don't shave during the Stanley Cup playoffs. But I'll shave it soon, I swear, because I know it looks ridiculous.
Q. That's encouraging. What about your fatness?
A. The fatness continues to be something of a problem, yeah.
Q. You look kinda pregnant. Honestly.
A. Yeah, I know. Oh shit. I hope I'm not.
posted by John Green @ Tuesday, January 20, 2004
2 Comments
2 Comments:
Oh please tell me that you have pictures of yourself with that "Fischer-Price-My-First-Beard" and that you are willing to share them on vlogbrothers.
Your email, I guess is to full for you to get my message, because it just sent it right back. But here is what I was going to send you (I hope you can see these).
Hello, Mr. Green
I am a student at Jefferson Forest High School in Forest VA, though you've probably never heard of the place, I have infatuated with your books. My English teacher has assigned us a 'book report' I guess you could call it. I have chosen your Looking for Alaska book. I have to write 5 pages on it, and 2 pages on you. I have researched you before and all your biographies, sorry to say, are bleak. They don't give me a since of who you are, like your books do. I was hoping or rather praying that you could tell me a little more about yourself, like what were you thinking when you wrote this book, or do you follow the standard archetypal ways of American Lit? Tell me anything. Its an honor to even email you. Thank you for your time, and hope you do get back to me!
-Aubrey Tomlinson
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