John Green: Author of Paper Towns, An Abundance of Katherines and Looking for Alaska
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Vicodin

Giordana quit her job on Wednesday in prepration for her (indefinite) move to Italy. She seems so happy and relaxed now that she has quit her job that it gave me an idea: Why don't I start taking vicodin every morning before work?

No, wait, I got that idea about six weeks ago, and let me just say that it has done wonders for my productivity. But even though spending the work day in a narcotic haze has a certain allure, I have to admit that I'm sorely tempted to quit my job, if only because my unemployed friends seem to enjoy the nonworking life so much.

I like my job, of course, or at least I like it a lot more than most of the other jobs for which I am qualified (roofer, dishwasher, law school student). But I don't like my job nearly as much as I like wearing the same t-shirt for seven days straight while I attempt to set a world record for number of SportsCenters watched in a calendar week.

I'm just kidding. I wouldn't really do that. I would write all the time, of course. I would move to a little house in Northeastern Alabama with a brokedown porch, and I'd sit on my porch and write in my iBook and feel the tension of Southern modernity all around me, which would be reflected brilliantly in my novels, which would sell like hotcakes and get short-listed for awards. I know what you're wondering. You're wondering how I can even fantasize about having that kind of writing life when I clearly just sandwiched two "which" clasuses into one sentence.

Touche, mon grammatical ami. Too. Shay.

12 Comments:

At November 26, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

clauses or clasuses? which is it?

 
At December 29, 2007 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have no idea if you are still reading comments here - but hey, sure is nice to be reading this blog now- right?

 
At October 29, 2008 , Blogger FlippedPancake said...

"the ironing is delicious"-Bart Simpson

 
At October 29, 2008 , Blogger valerie2776 said...

Well, you don't have the broken down porch....but still.

 
At October 29, 2008 , Blogger Lindsey said...

*Is warm and fuzzy inside*
This proves it. I can accomplish whatever the hell I want and nothing can stop me. Thanks for being so successful, John. You deserve every bit of it.

 
At November 16, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

hmm...John's internet debut?

 
At December 27, 2008 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

..And look where you are now.

 
At February 11, 2009 , Blogger Suburb Mouse said...

Little did you know that you would write all the time, not in an iBook, but a Macbook Pro. (I would say it's weird but I know that, but you definitely told me we had the same computer in person. So it's not weird, right?) And your books do kind of sell like hotcakes...

 
At February 20, 2009 , Blogger Chewbob said...

This is probably the most inspiring post I've read in a long time, if only because I know where you are now. I guess that means I'm going to keep writing!

 
At February 23, 2009 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

John Green's tears cure cancer.
Unfortunately he has never cried.
-Purple Epiphany

 
At February 24, 2010 , Anonymous Anonymous said...

John Green's tears cure cancer.
Unfortunately he has never cried.
- Midnights Spark

 
At October 20, 2019 , Anonymous Lilly said...

I wonder if anyone still visits this blog

 

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