Somehow or another, I ended up the privilege of hosting the indomitable Cecil Castellucci, author of the noted YA phenomenon Boy Proof. Like, right now, as I type this, she is sitting on my couch. If I turned my head to the left and spit really hard, I could probably hit Cecil Castellucci. (Not that I would. I'm just commenting on the current proximity.) Life is good.

So my apartment currently contains my roommate Shannon and Cecil Castellucci, which is great. But it also contains a mouse, which is very very very bad news. Now, I realize that:

1. Mice are probably not sentient, and that
2. Even if they are, they probably don't read well, and that
3. Even if they do read well, they probably don't have Internet access, and that
4. If they do have Internet access, they most likely spend their online time looking at mouse porn and not reading my blog, but then again
5. You never know, so:

Listen up, mouse. I'd like to make you an offer. I hereby offer you all the space in the world not currently inside my apartment (hereafter referred to as Outside). In exchange for giving you proprietary rights to Outside, I would ask that you grant me exclusive access to the 1,300 square feet of my apartment. You get 99.99999etc% of the world; I get my apartment. Deal?